who said you’re not perfect?

Who Gets to Decide?

Do you ever look at a group of “cool” people and feel like you don’t belong? Or see someone you think is out of your league and immediately count yourself out? Maybe there’s a job you secretly want, but it feels like you’re reaching too high.

What is it, exactly, that makes us believe we’re not perfect?

This question has lingered in my mind for years. I’ve seen it in people around me, and I’ve felt it within myself. It’s not loud or obvious; it’s a quiet, persistent thought that sneaks in and tries to convince you that you’re not enough.

I’ve battled these feelings too, the doubt, the comparison, the wondering if I fit in. There was a time when I nearly gave in to the idea that I wasn’t smart enough. But I caught myself. I told myself, “Okay, maybe I’m not book smart, but I am life smart.” That single affirmation changed everything for me.

When Perception Limits You

Here’s the thing about doubt, it often doesn’t come from us. It’s planted by other people’s assumptions.

Be careful of those who don’t ask about you but instead tell you about you. Statements like, “Masindi is so quiet,” rather than, “Masindi, are you quiet?” might seem harmless, but they can subtly box you in. Suddenly, you find yourself trying to live up to their perception, even if it doesn’t align with who you truly are.

I’ve experienced this firsthand. At one of my jobs, I had a colleague who confidently declared I was “quiet.” It wasn’t a question; it was a statement about me. For a moment, I felt trapped by her words, as though I had to prove her right—or wrong. But then I stopped. Why should her observation define me? Why should her perception shape how I see myself?

That’s the danger of letting others dictate your narrative. It’s easy to internalize their words, but doing so can pull you away from your true self.

Defining Your Own Perfection

Perfection isn’t about meeting someone else’s standards; it’s about owning who you are. That colleague might have seen me as quiet, but I chose to show her the depth of my confidence instead. Her comment wasn’t a box I had to fit into, it was a mirror reflecting how little she truly knew me.

Moments like these have taught me that no one gets to define you but you. Whether it’s a person, a situation, or even your own insecurities, you have the power to choose your narrative.

Reflecting on the Battle

This isn’t an easy journey. Doubt will creep in, and assumptions will be made. The thoughts might still come, whispering that you’re not enough or don’t belong.

But the truth is, you do belong. You are enough. Perfection isn’t about pleasing everyone else—it’s about being authentically you.

So, the next time someone tries to tell you who you are, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself: Does this align with my truth? And when doubt tries to settle in, remind yourself: Who said I’m not perfect?

Perfection isn’t a standard set by others; it’s a truth you define for yourself. Own it. Celebrate it. And live it unapologetically.